If you’ve been feeling more tension, exhaustion and frustration as a parent, it could be due to some of the techniques or ways you’ve been relating to your child. In traditional parenting, taking action and having consequences in order to ‘fix’ or correct a behavior is often encouraged, or required. This type of parenting often focuses the attention on the negative behaviors, and gives little, if any attention to the positive behaviors. It easily leads to conflict, hurt feelings, tense relationships, slammed doors, tears, and exhaustion. It becomes more about control and power struggles, and less around guiding, loving, and enjoying each other. Kids feel not understood and alone, parents feel guilty and at a loss.
In the Nurtured Heart Approach, parents are to focus on taking action and giving consequences for all the wanted, positive behaviors, and give little, yet structured and consistent attention to the unwanted behaviors. Given attention goes beyond praise and big compliments, which often become triggers and result in rolling eyes, under the breath comments, or even
outbursts. Kids with low self esteem tend to react negatively to praise and big words like “Great job!” and “Awesome!” The Nurtured Heart Approach teaches you specific skills to “Time In” and reflect to your child or adolescent the specific things you appreciate and value in those moments. It’s personal, specific, and highly efficient in bringing people closer. By paying attention and letting your child or teen know how great they are, your relationships become more pleasant and less tense, leading to a lot more cooperation, respect, and joy. Before the year is over, give yourself and your family a new gift by learning about the Nurtured Heart Approach and by starting to transform your relationships immediately.
For a free 15 minute consultation or to start your NHA counseling, schedule an appointment with Anca Niculae, certified Advanced Trainer in The Nurtured Heart Approach.